Foster Parenting: The Story of Esther

Mordecai and Esther: A Step Parent Bible Story

Step Parent Bible Story

Mordecai and Esther

By Kevin Leland

"He had taken her as his own daughter"

The book of Esther is a story about the close relationship between a step parent and a step child. I don't like the etymology of the word "step". It comes from "steop" meaning deprived, or bereaved. Modern psychology likes to say "stepfamilies are born out of loss" This idea and feeling about a step relationship gives an already confusing and complicated family dynamic a negative connotation. Because in today's culture the loss that these step relationships are born from is usually caused by divorce and remarriage, it's assumed that the "real" parent is still around and probably causing problems. It is looked at as less than the ideal and outside of God's will. One man, one woman bound in Holy Matrimony, raising the children they procreate, together under one roof is the ideal. That can't be denied, it is God's will. But do these ideal circumstances automatically bring about ideal relationships completely within God's will? I don't think so.

Some people think the word "step" describes how the new parent suddenly "stepped" into the life of the child and the place of the biological parent. This connotation isn't any improvement on the outlook. This is why I like the word "foster" in place of step. The definition of this word hits closer to the mark of what it means to be a father to a non-biological child. Foster means to nurture, support, feed, bring up. But in this culture, this would signify that the acting parent is getting paid by the state to nurture the child, so that takes all the wind out of that sail. Barney, the quasi-satanic purple dinosaur says "a family is people and a family is love" but this is completely over simplifying, and does not define anything, especially the important roles with an associated title each person in the family has.

It seems the only way that any prefixes to father can be shed is by legal adoption, but then before you know it you're back to "adoptive" parent. There are always problems with the way people look at these situations too. They are intrigued and wonder about the circumstances that brought about the adoption. Was the child orphaned by death, abandonment, loss of parental rights? I won't even get into surrogate, that's one that creates even more familiar intrigue. Unfortunately there is no suitable title for a person who is in a position as important as that of a father. If the responsibilities and duties of this role are taken on and carried out correctly then there is hardly a discernable difference. So whenever I used to get called "Mr. Lambert", being confused with my stepson's biological father, I've been known to correct the person by responding "it's Mr. Leland, John isn't the fruit of my loins, but I love him just the same". Then I get a chuckle out of their reaction to being corrected with such weird language, and informed at the same time of what our relationship is really about -without a proper title to describe it.

What it is about for me and John is a lot the same as it was for Mordecai and his foster daughter Esther. Mordecai stepped into the life of his orphaned little cousin and had taken Esther as his own daughter when her mother and father died. It's as simple as that. He took her in and nurtured and encouraged her. He stood watch as her guardian and looked out for her interests, and found an opportunity for her that put Esther in position as Queen. He did this very magnanimously. It turned out later that through Esther's mutual love and affection for her foster father, she would risk her life to save him, and the rest of her people. This story tells about how she steps in to prove to the King that her foster father isn't the insolent rebel that his enemies try to make him out to be and not only prevents his execution, but turns the tables on his enemies and gets Mordecai a high position in the Kingdom. Their devotion to God, their courage, and their loyalty to each other and the rest of the Jewish people have been remembered for centuries. This relationship born out of loss gained them protection and wonderful blessings.

I have recently been made guardian to two wonderful girls, who chose me as such. They were under my protection for a week, and then their mother, the confessed murderer I'm blogging about in this article : Chrissy Billis: The OkCupid Killer, recinded the paperwork. Good people are involved, hopefully bringing about a situation that would be best for these poor girls who have been through, and are continuing through, so much. 

If you were Charlie Billis, how much of a say would you want the person who murdered you to have in where your orphaned children are placed?